A Survivor’s Story
Clarity. Intentional. Strong. These words sum up what my life is all about during a time of crisis. I was enlightened to make tough decisions. Being conscious of my aspirations and with my responsibilities. To be strong for unexpected events. This is my story, my mid-year survival reflections.
I Survived my 20’s
I finally left my 20’s! I turned 30 last June 8, 2021. I can’t say I feel overly ecstatic about it but I am still joyful to reach a new decade (and more I hope! ) in my life. Turning 29 and then 30 years old this year during the pandemic was not how I planned my milestones to be. However, this is a mark wherein I rethink the lessons I have learned as my younger self.
What have I learned in my 20’s? Being adventurous and spontaneous in life has its ups and downs. I landed my first job as a journalist. I left my hometown and ventured into the hustle and bustle of Metro Manila. I went in and out of multiple jobs and then I came home. I’ve been creating my own empire for the past few years. That basically summed up my “roaring” 20’s! I believe that in the past years, I developed a growth in my choices, my character, and my faith in myself.
The Survival of Letting Go and Embracing Possibilities
While some people were relieved from their jobs, I did the other way around. I left a client whom I work for that has been a burden to my potential to grow. Sometimes, to rebuild your dreams, you let go of people who don’t appreciate what you’ve done and have been doing for them. You don’t receive a lot of gratitude from people, even though I am not acknowledged, as long as I know that in my heart, I did something good.
We learn to let go of people that pull you down or consistently reject your ideas because you will never be good enough for them. Today, I am truly happy with the clients I still work for locally-based and abroad. I work as a marketing consultant, a copywriter/writer, and a social media manager. I registered my business last year before the pandemic and I am hopeful for more opportunities and that I could manage to hire people with the same grit as mine to work with me.
My Father’s Day Story
A day after my birthday, an unfortunate event happened to my dad. Our family was challenged by this. My father collapsed just after he got his haircut. I rushed to the barbershop where he collapsed for a few seconds and when I got there, I found him conscious already. A doctor and nurse were already attending to him. He still looked pale even if he was already conscious so we brought him to the Emergency Room.
It was my first time to ever ride an ambulance and I was sitting beside the driver’s seat. Along the way, I immediately called my mom and tried to remain calm to tell her what happened. As I dropped the call, I felt that sudden pang of panic. I was breathing hard and I started getting teary-eyed. As the ambulance drove into a curve nearing the ER, I gathered myself and held back my tears. I said to myself, “no, not now. Keep it together, Rae. You are stronger than you think.” I was breathing properly again. I didn’t want my father to see me feel weak at that point. I had to be strong for him and focus.
It’s been 12 years since he was last hospitalized. Being hospitalized in this crazy situation is really difficult and I am very concerned with my father’s health.
After lab tests and check-ups, his diagnoses were Ischemic Infarct, Acute Cerebrovascular disease, Posterior Circulation, Hypertensive Cardiovascular Disease. In short, what happened to him was a stroke.
I felt that sense of maturity and growth in me as a responsible daughter. My patience has been tested even more and all I need is to be persistent, strong-willed and faithful.
I am ever thankful for the doctors, nurses of Saint Louis University of the Sacred Heart Hospital, the Barangay Kagawad who ran and called the ambulance; the Emergency Medical Service (EMS) from City Disaster Risk Reduction Management Council of Baguio (CDRRMO). Most importantly, I am grateful for the renewed life that God has bestowed on my father. To live longer and to witness more life! He is on a strict diet and maintenance of medicines. To my dear readers, watch your lifestyle. Indeed; you are what you eat!
June Vlog: Life Lately
My life lately is summed up in a short vlog I compiled for the past month. Aside from the challenges I have said above, seeing events in a visual perspective brings a whole new life by appreciating what’s in front of us. Watch my vlog below and I hope you enjoy it!
Living a Creative Life
I have been doing bullet journaling for four years now and it is playing a big role in my life. It’s part of my lifestyle to live a creative life and I hope to inspire others.
Here are reasons why I started bullet journaling;
- Sparks creativity- It’s just so much fun to see how a dull planner/notebook can be transformed into a quirky one. It makes me customize my own design of the planner and that excites me.
- Increase Productivity- My daily schedule, my short term and long term goals, I like those all written. Especially the daily tasks. It is so satisfying to tick one box at a time throughout the day.
- Trackers that kept me motivated to do habits I need to accomplish, expenses I need to keep in check and Mood tracker that helps me understand myself even more.
Aside from bullet journaling, I have started creating collages in my journal and I have been painting, too, using watercolor. It’s one of my aspirations to run a small business wherein I get to sell my art that is incorporated in stationeries. This is a venture I’ve been putting off for the past months as I am doubting my creativity and I feel scared that I might not be credible enough to share my work. In order to begin, I should start by believing in myself and I should practice, practice, practice!
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View this post on Instagram
Here is a video to see my sneak peek of my soon-to-be products! One would certainly be stickers! I think stickers jazz up notebooks really well, even laptop covers, mobile phones, etc.
Girl on The Move
In my understanding, being a survivor in life is not limited to overcoming the biggest challenges thrown at you. We are survivors as we are still grounded to this path, traversing this world’s adversity that we’re slowly winning.
For now, even when I just turned 30, sometimes, life isn’t laid out for me smoothly but I can be the person who I want to be. Let me share with you a Stoic Philosophy by Epictetus, “First, tell yourself what kind of person you want to be, then do what you have to do. For in nearly every pursuit, we see this to be the case. Those in athletic pursuit first choose the sport they want, and then do that work.” You know, somewhere in the rubble of other people’s lives, there’s something that may look like what my own should be. Maybe adulthood is inevitably just a series of discarded tons of flotsam and jetsam. If so, I’m definitely getting closer to achieving it.
I think that’s what it’s like to be a survivor; to know my next move because after all, we’re all still rebuilding our dreams that we put on hold. Not only because of the pandemic that struck but also because of the other barriers we allowed to be built in front of us.
We’ll never know when this global adversity would end but I am certain that in order to continue surviving; I strive to be a radiant example of a loving and responsible daughter and sister, a good friend, an encouraging partner, a helping hand and a good influence to other people around me.