It is hard to even begin writing this blog right now but I would like to get this off my chest a bit. Today, January 24 is my mama’s birthday. She is known as Maria Teodora Floresca or affectionately called by others; Marite, Ma-te, Te, Ate Marite, Auntie, Lola among others. I am writing this blog to remember her (as if I would ever forget her–can’t) on her birthday. For the first time and the most painful greeting I could ever say… HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN HEAVEN, MAMA.
Just gone too soon
For those of you who don’t personally know me, my mom passed away last December 10, 2021. The cause? I can’t elaborate further but it’s complications and her body organs just…gave up. We didn’t see it coming, and we think she didn’t know either. It was all too sudden, it was all too soon. I don’t want to blame anyone. I am tired of blaming myself, too, because I keep asking myself, WHY? Why haven’t I done this or that? But I just want to feel at peace right now so mama would be at peace as well. I know she doesn’t want me to be restless about thinking too much that it is beyond my control. I prayed so hard that God would give her another life but when I saw mama being revived for the last time (she was revived three times) in the emergency room… I knew then, I prayed to Him, “kayo na po bahala.”
Series of sorrow
In June, right after my birthday, my father had a stroke. Come October, my father got confined in the hospital again because of a bacteria in his stomach. Then came December, I saw myself crying in front of my mother’s lifeless body at the emergency room of the hospital. I cried the hardest when I had to check on her make-up. I shopped for her clothes and I brought my own make-up and hers to the funeral home. I never cried so hard in my life till that night. I felt the pain that was even worse than my first extraction of my tooth at a dental clinic (LOL). Hell, it’s a pain as if flames were eating up my weak heart. It was the weakest point in my life, but it was also my strongest. I am still going through it, but I am glad I got through the funeral… the burial. It was honestly hard to keep composure while I organized everything. I am grateful for family and friends who have helped our family.
Oh what are the odds of life, right? It got me thinking, and I can’t stop not thinking about it… mama was about to have me and my older sister was a toddler when she was 30 years old. Me, at 30 years old, I am seeing my mom lying lifelessly in a coffin, about to be buried and I saw myself standing in front of many people at the church to do the eulogy. It was my first speech in front of about a hundred people in my life—EVER.
I would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who extended their help in any way they can. The visits at the funeral home, the messages and calls we have received, even when I just don’t want to answer the hardest questions, it was still comforting to hear all the sounds and voices of concern and genuine care.
Our mom have lived a colorful life. Oh my, I’m tearing up while writing this. Aside from our loving family and relatives, she had so many friends, true friends. She touched so many lives. Thank you for everyone who was been with us. The Cool and Happy Seniors, their high school classmates group, the Couples for Christ families, Potentials (she was a tutor here), Dra. Tsuchiya (her boss in Benguet Lab), her AVON ladies friends, our relatives; I can’t thank you enough, you know who you are. I can’t mention everyone here, it’s too many but, thank you all so much! Please pray for us to be at peace, comfort and healing. I know we have to live with the pain but I do hope for strength for our family.
Thank you and we love you, Mama
Mama is a very religious person and she made sure until we’re all grown up that we would never lose our faith. I am grateful for that. She wasn’t also a very demanding mom. She never demanded us with material things she knows we can’t give–yet. Whenever we give her something, no matter how little, she is very appreciative. Also, she is very generous to people. She’s always the one to greet someone’s birthday, a gift or a post on Facebook page when she learns about social media.
She taught us to be kind. No matter how snobbish or stern I can be, she taught my sister and I to always be the bigger person, be the patient one, always do the right thing that is best. I honestly don’t know how she did it, her and dad… but my sister Charisse and I would not be like this if it weren’t for their guidance… her guidance.
I still can’t believe I am saying this.. but .. Happy Birthday in Heaven, Mama. We miss and we love you.