In Loving Memory

I’m writing this blog on a more personal note. This September, many lives have been taken because of illness, calamity and more. What really hit me and caught me off guard was losing someone so dear to me and my family. Tita Jean left us but her loving memories. Here’s a letter that goes out to her and to all who lost someone.

“Well, they say people come

They say people go

This particular diamond was extra special

And though you might be gone, and the world may not know

Still I see you, celestial”

It was a fine Tuesday evening when I went out to take a walk and conceptualize I am working on for work until I received a call from my mom that her sister needs to be rushed to the hospital. I was told that my Tita Jean is already being brought to the ER. I felt a sudden jolt in my chest, I knew it was already urgent. I went straight to the Emergency Room of the hospital. I was just right on time when the ambulance arrived. My dear Tita is already supported with Oxgyen, laid on the bed. I came to her bedside and I was trying to joke around saying, “Tita, I’m here na, na-miss mo lang ako eh!”(Tita, I’m here, you just miss me!) Nurses and doctors were asking her questions but she doesn’t respond. I was trying to talk to her but she was merely looking at me, barely making any hand gestures or facial expression. She just looks at me, no, right through me. I got worried when the doctor said she needs to undergo a surgery, Angiogram. To cut this story short, I thought she can make it, really. Until the doctor called us all inside the lab for prayers. I came to Tita Jean’s bedside, and told her, “Tita, kaya mo pa yan…(Tita, you can still stay)” then realized that there’s nothing that the medical equipment can do, I said, “Okay lang tita, kung di mo na kaya, maiintindihan namin (It’s okay, tita, if you can’t hold on already, we would understand).”

I’m glad that I was able to see her while she was still awake, blinking her eyes and barely moving.  I am glad that we were able to celebrate her 75th birthday. The past week feels like a blur. It was the most tiring week I’ve ever had. Exhausting but honestly, it is the most painful thing that happened to me all my life. Even more painful than my worst breakup. Lol. Kidding aside, I would like to tell Tita Jean this;

Tita Jean, thank you for all the help and your warmest hospitality whenever we come and visit you. I hope I made you happy for the past months and years, but you also made us happy. Until the last months, because of you, you, my mom and your brother had an unlikely and unexpected reunion after so many years at your humble home in July. I will miss your home-cooked food, always cooked with love and grace. I would miss every occasion that you are there even on random days that we or I visit you at your home. We will all miss you dearly.

“Life is short as the falling of snow, and I’m gonna miss you, I know.”

Just copied a few lyrics from Coldplay’s song, Everglow. I just find it fitting to be added to this short blog. Anyways, all I know is that she is now at the happiest place. My boyfriend told me last night, that our Tita Jean is just gone physically but will forever stay in our hearts, left is with her loving memory.

I hope someday, I would feel better and accept that she’s gone-physically. I pray for the healing of our family’s pain especially her dearest family. May our Tita Jean rest in peace and may eternal light shine upon her.

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